Mission accomplished

Warning: another excessively long post ahead. This is what happens when I actually do stuff.

With visions of Canadian Idol stardom dancing in my head, I arrived at the Mic Mac Mall bright and early at 8:30. Immediately upon entering the mall, I had the good fortune of meeting up with a Paula, a girl from Souris attending uni at St. Mary's. We were both alone at the audition, so we decided to be friends.

We were quickly directed into the registration area. There were about 200 people in line in front of me. Just seeing the Canadian Idol logos everywhere made me nervous and excited.

There was a very diverse bunch of people there. Of course there were the people drawing attention to themselves, like the girls with pink and brown army pants, and the girl with the blue face. Then you had the wide-eyed younguns looking nervous and self-conscious. Then there were serious auditioners, like the self-assured girl who was flawlessly attired and accessorized, down to the yellow flower in her hair. Or there was the quietly confident guy with an eye-catching red necktie, toting his guitar through the lineup. And of course there were the normies, like me. Just there to have fun, and maybe have someone tell you that you sing well.

The lady checking me in nearly gave me a heart attack when, after looking at my driver's license, she told me I was too old to audition. "But I'm 28 right now," I told her. "Birthday math is hard," she said. Thankfully, after conferring with her supervisor, I was given my number (!), two pins, and a coupon for a free iTunes song.

I was then herded into another area, where I attempted to fix my number (16758) to my sweater. While I was doing this, we were moved to yet another location. In the kafuffle, I lost one of my pins. That was an omen right there. I was missing a pin. How could I attach my number properly with only one pin?

While I was wandering like a lost sheep throughout the audition area, looking for a spare pin, I met up with Paula again (we had become separated during registration). We decided to watch the proceedings from a distance, since there were so many people milling about. Plus, with 200 people in front of us, there was no way we were auditioning any time soon.

We wandering through the mall, on a mission to find pins and water. Once successful, we headed back to wait. We waited. I listened to my music. We waited. I warmed up my voice. We waited. I talked to a girl from Bedford. We waited. I saw Ben Mulroney multiple times. We waited. I avoided tv cameras. We waited.

At last, several hours later, my number was called. As I got in line, I recognized several familiar faces from the registration lineup. Like the girl with the yellow flower. And the red tie guy. Yellow flower girl was picked out of the lineup to be interviewed on camera. As she returned to her place in line, I quickly realized that she was likely to be in my audition group. Uh oh. Guess who else was in my group? That's right, red tie guy.

Our five-member audition group was led into the holding area. Besides myself, yellow flower girl and red tie guy, there were two other youngish girls. One had tried out two times previously, and the other was a first-timer, and very nervous. At this point, my nerves were also making an appearance, and I was trembling slightly. I'm trembling now just remembering it. Red tie guy confided that he was not nervous, because he was in a band and performed all the time. Great. My chances were getting slimmer by the second. My stomach was getting queasy.

After a seemingly inordinate amount of time, we proceeded to the audition trailer. There, we were greeted by two producers, one a cool-looking fellow with trendy glasses, and the other a non-verbal woman who kept her head down the entire time. There was also a camera.

One by one, we were called forward to stand on the X and sing a verse and a chorus of one song. First up was the first-timer. She did really well, a little nervous, but she had a lovely voice. Next was red tie guy. Yeah. He was really good. Really really good. Powerful and unique. Then it was my turn.

By this time, I was literally shaking. I took a few deep breaths, introduced my song (Holly Cole's I Can See Clearly Now) and began to sing. All my thoughts of performing and eye contact flew out of my head. It took all of my energy to focus on getting through the song without my voice stopping on me. I vaguely remember seeing the producer guy nodding his head a couple of times. Near the end of the song, I could feel my extremities getting numb, and my voice started to make some awful garbly sounds. When I had finished, the producer asked me if it was my own arrangement or someone else's, because it was a lot slower than the original. I told him it was Holly Cole's version. Then I pressed myself back against the wall and tried to make myself disappear.

Next up was the three-timer. She started off with a Christmas song. The producer stopped her and asked her to sing a pop song. Then he stopped her again. Then it was yellow flower girl's turn. She was also very very good. She sang Killing Me Softly. Lovely, strong, warm voice.

Then came the moment of truth. No surprises here. Red tie guy and yellow flower girl got to stay and sing another song, while the rest of us were out. And just like that, my five hour Canadian Idol adventure was over.

I can't say I was truly upset at time. Naturally, there was some disappointment, but I am also very happy that I went through with the whole thing. For the rest of the day, my mind started to mull things over and relive the experience repeatedly. I have come to the conclusion that rejection is very hard, especially for a person like me who thrives on pleasing people. Even if I was expecting it, it may take a while for me to get over this experience. I couldn't even listen to music on the way home. However, I am certain that this feeling will eventually pass, leaving me with fond memories of my attempt at reality tv fame. And at least I have my number, which is all I wanted in the first place.