Tales from the T-dot

Signs you are staying in a fancy hotel:

1. There is a line of dashing valets clad in red jackets stationed at the hotel entrance.

2. While waiting to check in, you are served a complimentary glass of nonalcoholic fruit punch.

3. The minibar has gourmet nuts.

4. The bed has a luxurious down comforter and four plump feather-filled pillows.

5. Ice is delivered to your door. The first bucket is free. Subsequent buckets cost $3.00.

6. The bathroom has replenishing orange blossom shampoo with provitamin B5.

7. The shower has a removable showerhead with several water flow settings.

8. Breakfast costs $28.60.

9. The closet light comes on automatically when you open the door.

10. There are three phones in your room: one on the desk, one at the bedside table, and one in the bathroom. A phone call costs $1.50.

11. There's a bathrobe in the closet. And slippers.

Me likey free trips.