Meep!

So I'm going to Toronto on Friday to a hearing aid conference. I arrive in the afternoon. There's a reception that evening. The conference itself is Saturday day. Saturday night there is a big "evening event". They are shuttling us to some undisclosed location. I have to dress up.

I don't dress up.

I figured I could fake it. You know, like not wear jeans. I could do my hair. Maybe put on make-up. Then I read the description of the "conference attire" in the itinerary:

"The evening event on Saturday is your night to shine! Make sure you are red carpet ready with your best outfits from designers like Gucci, Prada, and Value Village. No jeans or casual dress. Accessories are encouraged."

What does that mean???

I don't even have a skirt that fits. I have pants. And v-neck sweaters. I can't even wear skirts/dresses well, because I have lower legs that look like upside down bowling pins. I don't even have accessories!

It's bad enough I will be thrust into an intimidating social situation (i.e. all alone in a large gathering of people I don't know), but now I have to look good? Plus, I will be trapped in the undisclosed location for at least four hours.

Four hours!! It will only take about an hour to eat dinner. Then what? Mingling and small talk with strangers for three hours? I can sustain small talk for ten minutes, tops. It involves lots of weather talk.

If you need me, I will be feverishly flipping through my In Style magazines for outfit ideas while mentally compiling lists of possible conversation starters.